Hard to Kill (1990)

Our Hard to Kill 1990 Review kicks off with a simple truth: the late 80s and early 90s were the golden age of action heroes. Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis ruled the world… and then along came a man with a ponytail, a whisper voice and an absolute obsession with breaking forearms.

This week Whitey, Dan and Will the Worky step back into the dojo to tackle Steven Seagal's second ever film, Hard to Kill (1990). A movie that, at the time, felt like the arrival of the next unstoppable action icon… and now feels like a fever dream involving aikido, silk shirts and extremely uncomfortable sex scenes.

Seagal plays Mason Storm, a cop who uncovers political corruption and is immediately shot, along with his wife, in what might be the least secure safe house ever filmed. Storm survives after being pumped full of shotgun pellets and spending seven years in a coma. Yes, seven years. And apparently, all it takes to recover is a massage, a training montage and a nurse who instantly falls in love with him.

From there, the movie becomes a revenge story, but also, somehow, a romance, a conspiracy thriller, a martial arts film, and a weird Seagal self-fantasy all rolled into one.

The boys dive deep into:
 • The unbelievable hospital security
 • The most aggressive love scene ever filmed
 • Mason Storm's questionable medical recovery
 • The ponytail era of action cinema
 • And why nobody recognises the villain's voice despite him repeating the same catchphrase constantly 

There are discussions about video store culture, the 1990 action boom, and how Seagal briefly convinced the world he belonged alongside the legends.

But time has not been kind to Hard to Kill. Watching it today reveals something different. Schwarzenegger knew he was in on the joke. Bruce Willis had charm. Seagal genuinely believes he is the most dangerous man alive… and that may be the biggest reason this film is unintentionally hilarious.

Still, there are broken bones, exploding pool cues, corrupt cops and more arm snapping than a chiropractor convention.

And honestly… that’s why we kind of love talking about it.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

 Is Seagal the strangest action star of all time?
 Does Hard to Kill accidentally become a comedy?
And is this the most confident bad movie ever made?

Leave a review, share the episode and send it to a mate who still thinks Seagal could win a real fight.

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