American Ninja (1985)
The American Ninja 1985 Review is finally here, and this one might be the ultimate test of childhood nostalgia versus cold, hard reality. Back in the day, ninja movies were everything. You'd watch them with your mates, then head outside, convinced you could take on an entire army with nothing but a headband and a questionable understanding of martial arts. But does American Ninja actually hold up, or is it another victim of the "we loved it as kids… but it's actually rubbish" category?
This week, Whitey, Damo, and Gow step into the dojo to break down one of the most iconic and unintentionally hilarious action films of the 80s. From the opening scenes featuring hacky sacks and butterfly knives to the absolutely chaotic convoy ambush, the boys waste no time calling out just how ridiculous this movie really is. And somehow, it only gets better, or worse, depending on how you look at it, from there.
We're introduced to Joe, an amnesiac army private who just happens to possess elite ninja skills. No explanation, no logic, just vibes. Throw him into the Philippines, add a dodgy arms deal, a kidnapped colonel's daughter, and a bunch of ninjas who appear out of nowhere, and you've got yourself a movie that barely makes sense… but is impossible to look away from.
Gow, our resident martial arts expert and self-proclaimed dojo graduate, brings his unique perspective to the table, breaking down the "authenticity" of the ninja action, or lack thereof. Meanwhile, Damo questions everything from the acting to the storyline, and especially that unforgettable line about "witness testimony" confirming ninja involvement. Yes, that actually happens.
Whitey leads the charge as always, trying to figure out where this movie sits in the grand scheme of action cinema. Is it so bad it's good? Or just plain bad? The answer might surprise you… Or it might not.
There's plenty of laughs along the way, especially as the boys revisit scenes they hadn't seen since the early 90s. From over-the-top performances to questionable editing choices and a plot that only reveals itself in the final minutes, American Ninja is a masterclass in accidental comedy.
But here's the thing, despite all its flaws, there's still something undeniably fun about it. Maybe it's the nostalgia, maybe it's the sheer absurdity, or maybe it's just the fact that movies like this don't get made anymore.
So grab your black belt, sharpen your imaginary ninja sword, and join us as we dive headfirst into one of the most bizarre action films of the 80s.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Did American Ninja hold up… or should it have stayed in the video shop archives?
- Is this the ultimate "so bad it's good” movie?
- Would you have loved this if you saw it for the first time as a kid?
- Where does this rank among 80s action classics?
- And most importantly… do ninjas improve every movie?
Drop your thoughts in the comments. We want to hear from you
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Listen now and decide for yourself, does American Ninja deserve its cult status, or should it have stayed in the video shop archives?
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